For many Muslim women, community isn’t just social but foundational. In cities like Los Angeles, connection can feel harder to find, especially for women searching for spaces that feel spiritually familiar. The casual intimacy of dropping by a cousin’s house, the ease of being around others who speak the same language as you and understand your rhythm isn’t always built into life here. It’s this gap of aching for that sense of togetherness that has led women to begin building what they can’t find — creating that intentional space to gather, connect and belong. These spaces are not just social circles, they operate as something deeper: a return to the feeling of being known- true friendship.
Anisa Abdulle is the founder of Her Gather, a community-oriented group for Muslim girls to find friends in Los Angeles, California. She grew up in Columbus, Ohio, where she spent most of her life surrounded by Muslims and felt supported by her community. Gatherings were a part of her everyday life until she moved to Southern California.
As a newlywed in a new state, Abdulle felt her world shift. She no longer had the people she grew up with or familiar faces near her.
“We’d go to my mother-in-law’s house, and we’d be around all [my husband’s] siblings and his family,” says Abdulle. “We’d leave the house, and I’d be so tearful after, because I’d be like, ‘I wish this was mine.’”
Even though this was the first time she felt the lack of a Muslim community, it was not the first time Abdulle left home.
In Muslim communities, there’s an expectation that girls are to live in their parents’ home until marriage; Abdulle’s parents had other plans. She moved to Egypt after finishing middle school to live with two of her aunts.
“It was chaotic. It was 13 of us in a three-bedroom apartment,” says Abdulle. Her parents had sent her over with the impression that she would only be visiting for the summer. She ended up staying for three years — something a teenage Abdulle was not expecting. Her parents wanted their daughter experience life in a Muslim country, learn the Quran, attend school and connect with her community.
“Imagine living in the States your whole life and having to be taken away from all the people that you’ve known,” says Abdulle. “And now for the first time, you’re going to high school with completely different people.”
Despite the completely new surroundings, a 14-year-old Abdulle found that life in Egypt wasn’t all that different from the one she knew in Ohio — especially because she was still around family. The biggest adjustment was mainly getting used to not being with her parents.
In Southern California, as an adult, Abdulle was faced with a similar struggle. She was, again, in a new place, but this time, it lacked that familiar sense of community.
After a few visits to her in-laws, and realizing she was unfairly channeling her feelings of loneliness towards her husband. So she decided to take matters into her own hands and create Her Gather, a group made for Muslim women to gather and feel that sense of community.
The idea came to her, of all places, from TikTok. Abdulle made her first friend in California through the video-sharing platform when one of her sisters (a term in Islam used to call another girl in the Muslim faith) DM’d her and asked her if she was Somali. The two struck up a conversation and ultimately decided to meet in person. One hangout led to another, and eventually the duo met more sisters, starting a small friend group.
After meeting with these other sisters, Abdulle realized she wasn’t alone in her feeling of not having a sense of community in Los Angeles.
“I was born and raised in the suburbs of LA, but just moved downtown last year. I had trouble finding other Muslim women to connect with because of how populated the city is,” says Mayha Aaejaz, a member of Her Gather. “I met Anisa, and she was so warm and welcoming and kind that I naturally felt comfortable around her. It’s so nice to finally have a space where people who look and dress like me get to meet up and do fun, cute things together.”
Even though hosting for Her Gather was new for Abdulle, the act was something that had always been a part of her upbringing.
Growing up, Abdulle learned the art of hosting through her mother.
“Being Somali, we naturally have this very welcoming feeling— they’ll make you feel like you’re their family,” says Abdulle. She shared how her mother would always be there to help a neighbor. This sense of community, where neighbors showed up and supported one another, was what she was searching for in California.
In fact, when first beginning to throw events for Her Gather, she felt hesitant about whether girls would show up, but decided it would be worth the risk.
Since starting Her Gather, Abdulle has successfully hosted multiple events, including an annual Ramadan Serving Skid Row where they handed out drinks, pizza, sandwiches and affirmation cards to those in the area in an effort to spread positivity. This Ramadan, Abdulle has put together a calendar which you can find on their Instagram @hergather.la, to encourage Muslim girls to come together while fasting.
There is no age limit or ticket fee for Her Gather events. “I feel like you shouldn’t pay to find community,” says Abdulle. “Everyone needs a friend.”