In “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,” Andie Anderson sets out to sabotage a relationship. In real life, USC students don’t need a plan, since many relationships seem to self-destruct around the three-month mark.
The idea, popularized through TikTok and dating slang, is often called the “three-month rule.” At first, the pair is inseparable. They study together, eat together, and somehow, even survive winter break. Then, somewhere between midterms comes the “we need to talk” statement, and like that, it’s over.
Ruthie Stoll, a freshman majoring in public relations and advertising, says she’s noticed this pattern among her peers. At first, couples spend nearly all their time together. Then academics and social life get in the way. According to Stoll, the change does not happen all at once, but it becomes obvious when couples stop seeing each other as much as they did at the start.
“After a certain amount of time, the novelty of a new relationship wears off,” Stoll said.
As schedules grow busier and academic stress builds, differences that were easy to ignore become more noticeable. That first rush of excitement, when every message or meeting feels electric, eventually fades. At that point, the relationship enters a more honest stage, one that demands attention, problem-solving and compatibility. The fun of firsts turns into learning to navigate life together beyond the initial spark.
“At a school like USC, it can be difficult to balance having a romantic relationship, especially with all the other endeavors,” Stoll said. Campus culture is fast-paced and full of opportunity. Many students are often involved in more than one activity at once.
Between demanding classes, extracurriculars, internships, athletics and social commitments, students have packed schedules that leave little room for nurturing a relationship. Even when two people are excited about each other, the realities of time management and competing priorities can bring out incompatibilities quickly.
“At three months, you really begin to know someone, and if something isn’t working, there’s no reason to stick with it….. the emotional and mental investment just isn’t necessary anymore,” said Sheila Wang, a senior studying business of innovation at Iovine & Young Academy.
She notes that relationships often follow distinct phases. The beginning is full of excitement, when seeing each other feels effortless but doesn’t reveal the full person yet. This is followed by a period of exploration, learning more about each other and testing compatibility. Yet those “firsts” begin to dwindle, and the relationship is faced with a choice: continue building, or recognize that the match may not be right.
While students describe the three-month mark as a moment of realization, their observations point to a deeper question: what actually holds a relationship together once the spark wears off?
Thomas Gustafson, a USC English professor, said, “Love and a kind touch is really magical in terms of bonding us together.” He explains that connection comes from softness, and that kindness is not just an extra part of a relationship, but what intimacy is built on.
Love forms through care, nurture, intimacy and the instinct to console. These small acts often matter more than big gestures. They show up in how people listen, comfort each other and stay present during hard moments. Over time, this kind of care becomes what keeps a relationship steady.
“After three months, maybe we stop giving that kindness, the kindness of attention, the kindness of affection, the soft touch,” Gustafson said.
He emphasizes that the beginning matters. “If you have a catalyst of a beautiful bond in the beginning, it can always be revived. There’s always a fire that can be stirred up again,” he said.
Those first moments of connection leave a spark to return to, a memory that can reignite warmth and closeness when the routine of classes, exams and busy schedules can get in the way.
The so-called three-month rule puts a timer on relationships. But love is not meant to be measured in weeks or phases. Love, in this sense, is its own kind of revolution. Timeless, demanding and brave.
So perhaps the question is not whether love survives three months, but how it continues onward. Instead of letting a rule decide the ending, maybe the truer test is learning to let love, rather than fear of time, lead the way.