USC sophomore Tristan Wilcher — also known as @tristanmilker on Instagram — says he’s going to “take over L.A. on Friday” when he competes in the world’s first-ever live sperm race.
After all, he was hand-picked by Sperm Racing co-founders Shane Fan, Eric Zhu, Nick Small and Garrett Niconienko. The fertility startup has raised over $1 million to host the race.
“They came to my door and knocked on it and just asked me if I wanted to be a part of something huge,” Wilcher said. “And I was like, ‘what do you mean?’ He said, ‘we’re starting sperm racing.’”
“I thought he was joking.”
At first Wilcher thought the idea was “stupid” but after going to the startup headquarters and meeting one of the CEOs, he said he saw the benefit.
Others did too. Tickets sold out for the event at the Hollywood Palladium, according to Fan, forcing organizers to change the race’s location to L.A. Center Studios, a popular 20-acre campus known for hosting conventions and festivals. For venues, size matters.
The good news? Everyone was refunded, and tickets for the new venue dropped on Tuesday.
“We wanted to create a huge sport,” Fan said, “A unique way where we also inspire people to live better lifestyles.”
Male fertility is rapidly declining. According to CNN, the mean sperm count of men globally has more than halved between 1973 and 2018.
“Sperm is a really good biomarker to determine the health of the individual,” Fan said.
According to their manifesto, the founders “designed a microscopic racetrack that mimics the reproductive system — chemical signals, fluid dynamics, synchronized starts.” There will also be “high-resolution cameras” to track the sperm in real time. Hence the name sperm racing.
The event will be “live-streamed, complete with stats, leaderboards and instant replays.”
But that’s not all.
“In the future, any celebrities could race their sperm,” Fan said. “We could even potentially settle, like, presidential debates.”
But for now, Trojans are hyped for the race on Friday.
Sam Belzer, a senior studying communications, said he “assumed it was fake.”
“I definitely would go watch,” he said. “It has the legs to go to the Olympics.” However, Belzer said he would never compete himself. “I got strong swimmers, though.”
Sophomore cognitive science major Malaq Ali was also skeptical at first.
She thinks the live sperm race is “a fun way to get our generation involved,” because she added, “our generation only cares if something’s entertaining.”
Micaela Meister, a freshman majoring in political science, had no hesitations about the Sperm Race. “I’ve been looking forward to it since literally forever,” she said.
“I thought it was canceled,” Meister said. “I was so upset, but now it’s back and I’m beyond ecstatic.”
Laila Hamdalla, a sophomore majoring in cinema and media studies, said, “we’re rooting for Tristan.”
She said her friends are already planning a watch party, but added that “it’s very likely we will end up getting tickets and going.”
Sophomore Luke Jones, Wilcher’s suitemate, said that he “was one of the first people to find out about it.”
“I couldn’t believe it. Literally, it was like an hour of him just trying to convince me it was real,” he said.
Jones is also rooting for Wilcher. He’s taking his girlfriend to watch the race and even joked about taking out a loan to bet on his suitemate. Jones is confident that Wilcher will finish on top.
“I think Tristan’s got the better sperm,” he said.
Tristan Wilcher agreed. He said: “There is no way in the world that I lose.
“First off, because I don’t lose,” he said. “Second off, because this other guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about and he hasn’t been training as hard as me.”
For the last month and a half, Wilcher has cut out junk food, alcohol and smoking in an attempt to optimize his health.
He said Friday’s event will include a live performance from “a very famous person,” a weigh-in, a press conference and three races to determine the best out of three.
“It’s gonna be dope,” he said.