“Jim Murray-esque” is a column by Sean Campbell that highlights all facets of USC athletics in the style of former Los Angeles Times columnist Jim Murray.
Dodger coaching great Tommy Lasorda knew how to take a loss because, well, he didn’t.
“[Former Cubs slugger Dave Kingman] beat us with three f*****g home runs, what the f**k do you mean ‘what is my opinion of his performance?’ How could you ask me a question like that?” Lasorda yelled at a reporter in an iconic May 14, 1978 postgame scrum.
You better not hand that guy — or me — a participation trophy. You might lose a trophy, and an eyeball.
But Lasorda, unlike your favorite Jim Murray impersonator, was not just a hard ass. As much as he knew how to lose, he knew how to win 100 times more.
The skipper didn’t give Kingman a single thought as his team won the National League Pennant later that year, and I bet he didn’t even feel sorry for the three-time league strikeout leader, who never reached a World Series, when the Dodgers took the crown in 1981 or 1988.
That’s all to say, if Lasorda thought running his team through a burning building had a sliver of a shot to improve their chances of winning in October, you can bet Fernando Valenzuela would have gotten a free haircut — it just might not have looked too good.
That is one thing the Dodger great has in common with USC women’s volleyball head coach Brad Keller.
“I was extremely disappointed in my team and my staff and myself tonight,” Keller said in a postgame press conference September 21. “There are people that run towards burning buildings, there are people that run away from burning buildings, and we should be people that run towards burning buildings. Safely, that is.”
So, if this was his reaction to a loss, what is he like after a win?
Only thing is, the Trojans beat UC San Diego that night and other than the first set — which the Tritons won 32-30 — it wasn’t all that close.
A featherweight in the ring with Mike Tyson would have a better time getting clobbered than Keller did winning that night, and I love it. His team does too.
Graduate outside hitter Ally Batenhorst, who leads the Women of Troy in kills this season with 224, transferred from currently No. 2 ranked Nebraska prior to this season, in part due to the team community Keller creates.
“[Keller is] a really culture-based coach,” Batenhorst said. “He really cares about the person behind the player, and he puts that first.”
Keller’s father was a police officer and firefighter, while his mom was a PE teacher at schools with lower income students. Growing up around both leaders influenced both his ability to be patient and, well, have his athletes run through a burning building.
“There’s a way of being extremely disciplined in what you do and I think at the same time, this is a game, this should be fun. So with that in mind, you have to continue to play and blend with that [balance] a little bit,” Keller said in an interview. “At the end of the day, the job is to make sure that [the players] have a really safe environment for them to make mistakes and push their limits.”
Senior setter Mia Tuaniga, who has 577 assists to lead the team, said one way Keller brings that balance is through his patented “soundbites.”
Just before I talked to Tuaniga at an October 7 practice, Keller decided to adopt a Jim Harbaugh classic:
“Who’s got it like us? Nobody.”
Keller’s attempt to play into a trend earned more than a few laughs according to Batenhorst and Tuaniga.
“We were all like, ‘okay, okay, next play,’” Battenhorst and Tuaniga recalled before laughing about the memory.
While they were laughing, the admiration for the self-proclaimed “5-year-old,” also known as coach Keller, was beyond clear.
No matter how silly, whatever he’s doing is working.
Overall, the Trojans hold an 11-4 record and are 3-2 in Big Ten play. USC’s only four losses thus far have come against top-11 teams in the country — No. 1 Pitt, No. 2 Nebraska, No. 11 Oregon and at the time No. 11 Creighton.
After a second-round exit in the NCAA tournament each of the last two seasons, Keller is looking to bring the program that has not seen a Final Four berth since 2011 “back to its capability” — a National Championship.
With how well Keller seems to be doing, I think I’ll try to copy him.
Next time my best friend hits three drives in a row out of bounds, I’ll make sure to let him know that “bumpy roads lead to pretty places,” one of Tuaniga’s favorite Keller-isms. If it helped a group of the most athletic women in the country — who could easily take him out if need be — what’s the worst that could happen to me…
“Jim Murray-esque” runs every Thursday.
Note: A previous edition of this article incorrectly stated USC’s record. This was updated at 1:42 p.m. on Friday, October 11th.