The nature of celebrity culture continues to become more and more bizarre with the rise of social media. After the unfortunate death of Matthew Perry, thousands took to social media to pay their respects. As a fan of an individual, when that person passes it’s natural to be affected by it.
But there was an overwhelming amount of people who called out Perry’s co-stars to share their mourning with the world.
Parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, while the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other’s existence, according to the National Register of Health Service Psychologists.
We’ve seen continuous examples throughout history of “fans” exhibiting abnormal behavior regarding their favorite celebrity. In 2012, a woman named Mariah Yeather filed a lawsuit against Justin Bieber after claiming he was the father of her child. The lawsuit was later dropped and Bieber came out with the song, “Maria”, recounting his own “Billie Jean” moment.
This doesn’t only end with Bieber. Celebrities like Harry Styles, Gigi Hadid, and Kendall Jenner have encountered situations where “fans” turned into stalkers. These encounters sometimes even turned deadly, as we’ve seen with celebrities like Christina Grimmie and John Lennon, where their obsession becomes all-consuming.
After a celebrity passes away, fans can feel entitled to know insight into the situation surrounding their death. Fans want to know their cause of death, where they died, or how their loved ones are grieving. Just hours after Perry’s death, fans began flocking to social media intrigued to know how the “Friends” cast was grieving.
While some fans may be genuinely concerned about the cast’s well-being, others feel as though they owe them a reaction. Jennifer Aniston has limited her comments on Instagram, while David Schwimmer turned his off completely. The rest of the main cast’s comments are flooded with people berating them for not posting about Perry.
On Lisa Kudrow’s most recent Instagram post, of her singing happy birthday to her son, user @itz_asim17 commented, “Why none of the friends have posted about the loss of Chandler whyyyyyy????” While on Courtney Cox’s latest Instagram post, @ranmal_fitness4life said, “Not posting about Matthew immediately after his death is one thing, but to post funny videos instead is weird and heartless. Disappointing.”
The post was a lighthearted video of Cox racing her dog, which was posted a week before Perry’s death. So not only was this person insensitive, but they were also wrong. Even if this was after his death, it doesn’t seem fair to judge how a person grieves.
It’s a continuous pattern that occurs after any celebrity’s death if you scroll through their comments section on any platform. You’ll find horrible comments like these and a war transpiring about how a person should grieve.
The dehumanization of celebrities plays a huge role in addition to parasocial relationships. It begins with the culture around celebrities and how we as “normal people” view them. But there are levels to that, a person who isn’t a major fan of a person may see them on the street, react, and go about their day. A person who may be a die-hard fan of a celebrity may experience a sense of disconnect or idolization causing them to react hysterically.
When I saw Beyoncé and Harry Styles for the first time in concert, I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact they were standing right in front of me—they didn’t seem real. Obviously, I knew that they were real, but seeing them in the flesh forced me to acknowledge that they are indeed human like us.
This feeling toward celebrities continues to play out throughout their lives, explaining why people disregard them as such once they die. This transpires onto their loved ones, who are given the weight to commemorate and support their fans instead of grieving privately.
On a TikTok edit of Perry, appreciating his role on “Friends,” @chocolatechipcroissants commented, “honestly celebrity’s death don’t usually get me but this one has me devastated bro.” Not every celebrity’s death will affect you because you may not have a relationship with them; however to state that a person’s death hasn’t affected you because they’re a celebrity is insensitive, it almost diminishes their being.
It’s hard to navigate where that line is crossed sometimes because fans feel as though they are owed certain things in exchange for giving them fame. But they are giving you their art, so why isn’t that enough?
Although celebrities are a source of entertainment to us and give us a certain level of insight into their lives. This doesn’t take away from the fact that they are humans, who sometimes want to keep certain aspects of their lives private.