USC hosted its first ever “Sex in the Dark” event this Thursday evening, which was fully student-organized and included a panel of “Sexperts,” a drag show, a sex toys raffle and free snacks and beverages. While several other colleges across the U.S., such as Boston University and Purdue University, have hosted similar events in recent years, USC’s students are experiencing “Sex in the Dark” for the first time.
This event rounded out USC’s “Sex Week,” a week where student and university-affiliated organizations promote safe sex education and practices through a range of interactive events.
The idea behind an event, such as “Sex in the Dark,” is in part that sex often happens in the dark and the organizers wanted to simulate that sexy, risqué ambience. Simultaneously this event was meant to create a comfortable and welcoming space for students to discuss sexual health and well being, which can be an intimidating topic of conversation for many, according to Guru Shabd Khalsa, one of the event panelists.
“[The] darkness can allow people to be less wary of how other people are perceiving them and [feel open to asking] questions,” Khalsa said. “We’ve got all the fluorescence and the glow in the dark [paraphernalia]… to hopefully make [these conversations] accessible and a little bit less scary.”
As one of the event panelists, Khalsa was there to provide students educated answers to questions they had about sex and their sexualities, which were submitted anonymously to the panelists prior to the event.
“We made sure people could respond anonymously if they don’t feel comfortable speaking up in a group of people that they don’t know or even… that they do know,” said Khalsa.
Khalsa also works as a clinician at CMH, the counseling and mental health center at USC, and is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Khalsa said she is dedicated to “[supporting] students and [helping] them figure out the ways that they want to live in a healthy, positive… way”.
During the panel, Khalsa was joined by two other “sexperts”: Erin Tillman, certified intimacy coordinator and sex educator; and Leroy Mitchell, a violence prevention educator at USC.
In response to student questions, the panelists explored the importance of communication during sex or sexual interactions.
“One of the challenges of relationships, dating, and sex is that everybody communicates differently,” Khalsa said. “Hookup culture is very common on college campuses. Hookups don’t allow for people to get to know one another, communication is limited.”
“With new partners, the goal is to be able to communicate,” said Tillman. “It’s important to get to know your partners because expression of enthusiasm [for sex] varies from person to person.” This communication creates a safe and consenting atmosphere for sex, according to Tillman.
A lot of people are scared to ask questions for fear of “killing the vibe,” but “communication helps people be present before and during sex, which is important,” said Mitchell. Having these conversations allows your partner to know what you like and don’t like and “someone respecting [your boundaries], that’s hot.”
These “sexperts” also discussed the stigmas and expectations surrounding sex.
“Sex can be whatever you want it to be, you can make it whatever you want,” said Tillman.
The aim of the panel conversation was to “[expand] the umbrella of sex positivity,... where we’re talking about things such as consent, boundaries, what sex looks like for different genders, what sex looks like for different people in and out of relationships,” said Devin Alaya, student health coordinator for USC Student Health.
Alaya’s colleague, Sophia Dettweiler, student ambassador for USC Student Health, said the panelists talked about a lot of issues that are common concerns which students generally avoid talking about, so “this [event] was a great chance to just be totally open, nothing is off limits here.”
Dettweiler said she’s glad that USC Student Health was able to host an event that provided “an inclusive space, where we’re not judging each other, we’re just all learning together and learning from each other.”
Prior to the panel, the student organizers held a raffle, prizes for which consisted of vibrators, bondage sets, bottles of lube, a couple whips, and even some sex education novels written by Tillman. The raffle was yet another activity student organizers hoped would get students excited to learn about their sexuality and sex education.
“I ended up picking a hot pink vibrator, just to try it out,” said Lexi Rosser, raffle winner and journalism student at USC.
To cap the evening, USC student drag performers came out and did a show for the students. The performers received big cheers and applause from the audience, most notably the last performer of the night, Saneel Sharma, well-known by her drag name, Rae Oblivion.
Sharma danced to a mix of the songs “Treat Me Like A Slut” and “XXX” by Kim Petras, bringing both a powerful energy and raw sexual magnetism onto the stage.
“I [wanted to do] a sexual number that allows a person of color, who is also trans, to represent and also embrace their body, sexually,” Rae Oblivion said.
Generally speaking, drag queens are known to simultaneously uplift and entertain the queer community. At an event like “Sex in the Dark” that focuses on serious topics such as sexual health, drag performances show people how they can have fun with their bodies and sexuality and that, while safety is important, that’s only one aspect of a person’s sexuality, according to Sharma.
“Having a drag show at a very sex positive event, reminds people just to have fun and embrace sex,” said Sharma.
Many students who attended the event, like Rosser, were originally drawn in by the drag show. Yet, Rosser said she appreciated the entirety of the event, since it provided her and her friends a place to start conversations about sex in an exciting and entertaining way.
“I hope that [this event] invites people to continue the conversation and to not be shy out around campus,” said Rosser.