Opinion: Why Philly fans love to riot

Philly fans are ridiculous.

We are angry.

We are spirited.

Once, we threw snowballs at Santa. And, our weapon of choice is called a Philly special – when you put a battery in the middle of that snowball, so it packs a harder punch.

But why? Literally why, are we like this?

Let me break it down for you.

1. We have mad hometown pride.

Because we’re the best! Nah, but seriously, we’re tough. We have great teams. Our mascots are iconic. So we’ll celebrate them any time we can.

2. Fighting is a love language.

Seriously, it’s normal to brawl here. And it’s kind of fun, too.

3. The city is already full of trash, so… whatever.

It’s not our fault the rats have taken over! They’re kind of cute, if you squint your eyes. But for real, there’s so much garbage in the streets at any given time, what’s a little more?

4. Have you ever climbed a pole? It’s fun!

Did you know that the city literally sends people out to grease street poles before a major sports game? Did you know we climb ‘em anyway? We love a view from the top.

5. In Philly, we still say hello to each other. So we know our neighbors.

This makes it easier to dance in the street with them.

6. There’s a lot of old homes in Philly, with a lot of lead paint.

Apparently, that makes you aggressive. Oops. Not our fault the landlords won’t fix it.

7. Not to be corny, but the Brotherly Love thing is… kinda true.

Philly’s got heart. Philly friends will help you move a body. We love hard, so we can fight hard, so we can party hard.

So, brace yourselves. The Eagles are going to the Super Bowl, and it’s unclear whether or not the city will survive it.