No matter how often it happens, there’s still no playbook for fans when another famous man in the entertainment industry disappoints them and goes to court for sexual assault allegations. British musician Rex Orange County is the latest offender to prompt the question: can we ever truly separate the art from the artist?
In short, not really.
I was completely taken aback by the news from The Sun that Rex Orange County, also known as Alexander O’Connor, was charged this week with six counts of sexual assault after a woman accused him of attacking her six separate times. As an avid listener of his music and a close follower of his career, I had gotten the impression that he was one of the good ones – a member of the increasingly rare rag-tag team of men in entertainment who were not objectively bad people.
While O’Connor pleaded not guilty in court on Monday, according to reports from The Sun, I almost don’t care what the outcome of his January trial is: Rex Orange County will be forever tainted in my mind.
The 24-year-old musician, who’s most known for his 2017 song touting his status as your “Best Friend,” is a Gen Z phenomenon. The Los Angeles Times dubbed him his generation’s “favorite crooner” and a “heart-on-his-sleeve balladeer.” His songs are relatable – they cover the growing pains of early adulthood and, of course, love. In one of his most memorable lyrics, he says “I’ll be the one that proposes in a garden of roses / And truly loves you long after our curtain closes.” And his voice is almost as charming as his lyrics. He is undeniably lovable.
This boy-next-door persona is precisely why fans feel so betrayed and confused by these allegations of sexual assault against him.
Because we have a window into entertainers’ lives through social media, we feel like we know them as people, not just as artists. And since we feel like we know them personally, we hold them accountable for actions outside of their art. When they mess up, it hurts.
Rex Orange County’s social media pages are inviting – they feature the bright-colored and animated artwork for his music, candid photos of him and messages of gratitude to his fans.
So when O’Connor is facing allegations of wrongdoings, the fans are personally hurt and disappointed. One fan, Kayla Ellis, who has his lyrics tattooed on her forearm, recently told Buzzfeed News that she cried when she heard the news because she knew “nothing was gonna be the same after hearing this.”
every bit of darkness that his music helped me through feels untethered now. like his music was the silver lining to all those dark times. i was never alone bc i had his music. idk how else to explain it, i’m just beyond hurt rn
— kayla 🫧 (@jcsonlyangel) October 11, 2022
Ellis is not alone in her disappointment. Social media exploded after Monday’s news with fans sharing sentiments on Twitter like “Rex Orange County was literally the soundtrack to my life…I feel ill,” and memes about their sadness and anger.
What can you do when this newly problematic artist’s music is such a significant part of your life? Do you take down your posters and stickers? Do you remove any trace of them from your playlists? Can their songs no longer be your favorites?
It can be incredibly difficult for fans to let go of artists and their catalogs when situations like this arise. It feels like they’re losing a friend, not just a favorite artist. It’s like a breakup.
Music has always been littered with problematic people whose behavior we previously overlooked. Everyone knew John Lennon had a darker side, including allegations of physical abuse against his partners, but they ignored it. Now we don’t ignore concerning behavior like this anymore – we can’t stomach it.
The calls to “cancel” artists like R. Kelly or Morrissey because of their past misdeeds or controversial statements is a part of a more recent movement. It’s controversial, but the decision to stop supporting artists like this will only grow in popularity as we continue to reckon with the disturbing behavior of our heroes.
I don’t know how we reconcile our conflicting feelings, but I do know that listening to Rex Orange County no longer feels the same for me. Songs like “Pluto Projector” and “Sunflower” hold special places in my relationship, and I have many happy memories of long car rides and refrigerator-lit dancing scored by these songs. I’ve replayed them hundreds of times to relive those moments. But now when I listen, something is off.
I find it incredibly difficult to remove Rex Orange County’s music from his public persona and these allegations against the artist. And it’s not just him – I can’t, in good conscience or with a level of comfort, listen to Kanye West (or keep up with his recent antics) anymore either.
We’re moving into a space where art will become intrinsically tied to the artist because of their digital presence and online persona. Art is already a deeply personal creation, and if these allegations are true, I don’t want to support Alex O’Connor or put any more money in his pockets than I already have.
I guess my playlists were already in need of some updates.