Maybe we aren’t so different after all - what my interracial friendship taught me

Growing up in a predominantly Hispanic neighborhood in South Central Los Angeles, I was hardly exposed to other cultures for most of my life. Our assumptions about people from other races came from watching television or through similar forms of media. Both negative and positive stereotypes had sometimes come up for discussion and I was even targeted by my classmates because to them I did not look “Hispanic” enough.

I identify as Mexican American, but in elementary school, I was always asked, “Are you Chinese? You have the eyes,” or sometimes, they would randomly bring up certain stereotypes to my face and laugh about it. Not only did this give me an identity crisis, but it also prompted me to learn about cultures outside of mine. I was able to search online, but I felt that it wasn’t enough and that I actually needed to interact with people outside of my overall race.

It was not until high school that I met and made a solid friendship with someone outside of my overall race. Her name is Aubrey Alcoy, and she helped me broaden my perspective about a different culture outside of mine.

We met in summer school during our freshman year while walking up the stairs to our next class. We introduced ourselves to one another, and from there, it became a dynamic friendship, since we had similar interests and reciprocated such hyper energy to one another. Alcoy identifies as a Filipino American, and at the time, I felt as if I did not know how to properly interact with someone outside of my race, considering that I have been in a comfortable Hispanic bubble for nearly all of my life. Alcoy also grew up within a predominantly Hispanic community, and she felt that the best way to express her culture was through food.

Seeing her bring her own lunches to school, I remember constantly asking her about what her dishes were called, and we’d occasionally share our lunches together. “I mainly felt [the] identity of my race through the foods that I ate. Because that was the one thing that I was able to experience on a daily [basis] rather than like say, the language, the decorations, or the history. It was mainly the food,” Alcoy said.

As the friendship progressed, she talked more about her culture beyond food. It is exciting to hear the traditions of other cultures outside of Latin America since I haven’t had the chance to fully learn about them through classmates in the past. But as she talked about her culture, I realized that some of the aspects she brought up overlap with my culture. From our Spanish last names to the similarities in our culture’s history, I was shocked to learn how similar our cultures were.

Well, why and how are these two countries similar? This dates back to the Spanish colonization days when the 250-year Manila-Acapulco Galleon Trade enabled both nations to exchange and trade, whether in language or culture, exports, imports, or other areas. In today’s world, you can encounter Filipinos who may share the same Spanish last names as their Mexican counterparts, eat very similar dishes, and center on Catholic values just like most Mexican communities.

Fascinated with how two cultures from different parts of the world relate to one another, I asked other Mexican American and Filipino American people about their take on the similarities among both cultures:

Elaine Alvisurez, a high school senior at South Gate High School in South Gate, California, is surprised to learn how her Mexican heritage has a lot of similarities with Filipino culture. “No, I was not aware of the similarities because they don’t teach you any of this in school,” Alvisurez said.

Gabriel Canonoy, a sophomore majoring in Political Science and International Affairs at UC Riverside, grew up in a predominantly Hispanic neighborhood just like Alcoy and mentioned how included he feels as a Filipino American. “I grew up more [with] Hispanics and Latinos more than I did my own race. [...] The only time I would feel out of place was when they spoke Spanish, because I’m not a very strong Spanish speaker. But like, if it’s cultural things like carne asadas, I wouldn’t feel out of place because I know them.”

Canonoy also expressed his knowledge about the history behind why both Mexico and the Philippines share such similar cultures. “I’m pretty aware [of] the history behind it, where I believe it was Ferdinand Magellan. When he arrived from Spain to the Philippines, that’s when that’s when all the stuff happened with the whole colonization thing. I don’t know the whole Latin American history, but I know for my history, they integrated their religion, their beliefs, their food, their names, into our society.”

Teo Nalani, a sophomore majoring in animation at the School of Visual Arts in New York City, identifies as a Filipino American and Native Hawaiian. When I asked about whether or not he was aware of the Philippines and Mexico sharing similarities, he was not fully aware. “I didn’t know about it actually. I’m just learning about it now. The only thing I can think of is boxing since [Mexico and the Philippines] are both boxing fanatics, like we have Manny Pacquiao,” Nalani said.

Since Nalani is biracial, he felt less in touch with his Filipino side but is learning more about it thanks to Alcoy. “I learned a lot from Aubrey actually. She tells me stuff about Filipino culture that I didn’t know. And it’s just nice to like, rant about things and ask her things about this side of the culture. Like I’m very open to learning more about it. So whenever she talks about it, I’m like yeah tell me more so I can feel more connected,” Nalani said.

A Filipino American sophomore majoring in civil engineering at the University of Southern California elaborates on how nice it is how she sees her Filipino culture in the Mexican culture. “Oh, it’s really nice [to see the similarities between these two cultures]. It makes you relate more about like your culture with other people. ‘You also did these kinds of things on the holidays. I didn’t know we have the same traditions [and] the same food.’ I was really excited to know about that,” the student said.

Alvisurez was also excited to see the similarities between both cultures, explaining, “I think it’s amazing though, that there is another country that shares [a] similar culture [to mine].”

Alcoy, now a second-year animation student at the School of Visual Arts in New York City, continues to connect to her Filipino roots despite being in a whole other community away from home. When we recently reconnected, we discussed our upbringings and I was surprised to hear about her identity struggles growing up. “I never saw my race as its own thing. I just saw myself as a weird-looking Latino person, which I do and now, I realized no, I am Pacific Islander/Asian. But, back then when I was a little kid, every single little kid just wants to fit in,” Alcoy said. Through her years of feeling like an outsider yet immersed in Mexican culture, she accepts how both cultures are similar while also trying to reconnect with her roots. “Now, I’m more accepting of the fact that like, yeah, we have the same like very similar history, there’s obviously going to be overlap somehow,” Alcoy said.

In today’s world, although there are some similarities among various cultures, we tend to think that people outside of our culture are vastly different. Let us never forget our roots, but also remember that we as a world are more interconnected than we think. Intersectionality happens more than we know among people of different cultures, and it can make us relate to one another more closely. Alcoy is the inspiration behind why I want to continue this discussion. She is the reason why I think – “hey, maybe we aren’t so different after all”.

Editor’s note: Additional quotes were added to the story. The newer quotes came from Gabriel Canonoy and Teo Nalani.