Alexandra Billings, biologically born a man, began her transition to becoming a woman in 1980 when she was about 17 years old. At the time, being transgender was not only unheard of, it was, in fact, illegal.
During her dynamic and fantastically memorable cabaret performance, "I'm Still Here, Still," for USC's Visions & Voices, she recounted the first time she was stopped on the street for dressing as a woman. Wearing wedges and a sprightly summer dress, she got pulled over by a police officer in Chicago and thrown against a wall. Billings said the officer invoked the law which required men to wear at least two articles of male clothing. He handcuffed her and took her to jail where she spent the night.
Billings, now proudly 54-years-old (she repeats telling the audience her age throughout the show as if to underscore that she is still here), is best known for her portrayal of Davina in the TV series, "Transparent." She has also been a regular in "ER," "Grey's Anatomy" and "How to Get Away with Murder." Her cabaret act won an award in New York City, and one can easily see why. She sings ten songs – some hilariously funny, some dark and somber – that describe the arc of her life, starting in Inglewood, California, where she was born.
"Creep," by Radiohead, took the evening to its highest peak with its shattering lyrics. Lines like: "But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo" and "I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control, I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul" illuminated much of what she was — and is going through — as a transgender female in the 21st century.
With her strong stage presence and intense vocal ability, Billings grabbed the full attention of the audience and made an immediate connection.
Billings strung together the ten songs with humorous banter and honest, no holds barred stories from her life, many of them spontaneously told as she tested the temperature of the room. She extended the conversation introduced by "Creep," disclosing that she has AIDS and that her doctor never thought she'd still be alive. Then she sang Stephen Sondheim's classic, "I'm Still Here" and again brought down the house.
How has she managed to be still here?
Many of the answers didn't come until the end of the performance during the Q&A with David Bridel, Dean of the School of Dramatic Arts. An audience member directly asked Billings for her secret to her endurance and positivity. Billings said, "I don't do anything that doesn't bring me joy," including teaching at Cal State Long Beach (California State University, Long Beach), where she is a beloved and highly regarded acting teacher.
Another member intimated that he was transitioning and wanted to know Billings' advice for handling offensive remarks and hatred. "It is easy to march and preach at people who you agree with," she said, stressing how as someone who is "different," one must not be complacent. "Be LOUD," she intoned in her great, big strong voice. "If we don't take heat and pay attention, what we have worked for will slip away."
To illustrate this, she told about a recent incident at CSULB where, after months of fighting to get a gender neutral bathroom, she walked into it and scrawled on one of the stalls' doors in black ink were the words: "A tranny works here." Stunned and feeling the hate, she alerted the university, her colleagues and students. Word went out. The next day the walls, doors and every surface around and in the bathroom were bedecked with Post-It notes of support and fighting back.
Billings appeared to have changed the way many members of the audience think about transgender people. As one audience member said to a round of understanding chuckles and applause, "I didn't know what I was getting into when I came. I had no idea. But you are amazing and thank you for one of the best performances and experiences ever."
"I'm Still Here Still, Still'—A performance by Alexandra Billings," was on January 26th, 2017 at the Bing Theater on USC's campus. Tickets were free. For more info contact http://visionsandvoices.usc.edu/events/listing.php?event_id=679123
Contact writer Dale Saferstein at saferste@usc.edu
Annenberg Media