It's a common experience for women on Tinder – a message right at the top of the inbox that cuts straight to the crap, no euphemisms, no deception: "Wanna bang?"
And while this simple, direct question exists in various forms and may sometimes even be greatly appreciated, it's still kind of offensive and definitely sexist.
With a higher percentage of male users on dating apps like Tinder and pressure for men to start the chat, it's no surprise sexism has long made its mark in online dating and dating apps. But that doesn't mean there's no room and time to change that.
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In fact, change is already on its way, and it comes in the appearance of a yellow beehive on a white honeycomb. Ever since the dating app Bumble launched about a year ago, it has sparked conversation about feminism and women's roles in the online dating world.
The app is designed in a way that prevents direct conversation starters from guys. If you're a straight male user, you have to wait for the girl to contact you first after a match. She has exactly 24 hours to start the conversation, otherwise the connection is lost forever (except for one extension granted per day).
On Tinder, "any swipe can change your life" – on Bumble, a swipe will not change anything at all for a guy, as long as his female match doesn't message him first.
"We are 100 percent feminist," founder Whitney Wolfe told Vanity Fair in an interview. Wolfe also cofounded Tinder, but left after a messy break-up with one of the other funders, Justin Mateen, and a sexual harassment suit that brought her about $1 million through a settlement, according to reports from Forbes Magazine. Mateen has since left Tinder.
Bumble Founder and CEO Whitney Wolfe.
But how does Bumble exactly fit in on the feminist agenda? By pushing women to make the first move, a still relatively unusual step often associated with confidence and bravery. And while it's always brave to make the first step, it shouldn't be remarkable when it's done by a woman.
Bumble aims to shift users' perceptions from "wow, she made the first move!" to "it's normal when a girl starts the conversation." Pushing users to internalize this in such a common social interaction as dating or hooking up is of a huge importance.
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In its first year of operation, more than 15 million conversations were started through the app, according to The Washington Post. Most of these chats were initiated by women; some were started by gay men.
Hopefully, by putting the control over what to say and who to say it to in the hands of female users, that means less "wanna bang" and more actual conversation – if that's what the girl wants.
Tinder, OkCupid, Hinge, Coffee meets Bagel and Hitch probably won't change their "first-move" features to match Bumble's feminist approach to online dating. But as both men and women often use different dating or hook-up apps at the same time, there's a good chance that mindsets will change. And a little feminist spillover from Bumble to Tinder surely won't hurt anyone.
Contact Staff Reporter Aziza Kasumov here.
Annenberg Media