Welcome to Everything But The Bagel, a weekly space to make you feel a little less stressed, and a little more grounded, just with writing instead of cream cheese. By diving deeper into the reality of life as a Trojan, Everything But The Bagel will help you get through the ups and downs of your college experience. Through relatable anecdotes, interviews, and my curated edit of recommendations, this newsletter will remind you that you are at this school for a reason, further helping you make the most of your time at ‘SC.
Dear Beautiful, Imperfect, Intelligent Humans,
In through the nose, out through the mouth. Now do it again. One more time.
As COVID-19 is seeming to impact all realms of life both on and off campus, I hope that everyone is hanging in there. As I told my sister over the phone last night, the world feels like a mix of a snow day and an apocalypse. We are all in this together and even though it may not feel like it, we will get through this corona chaos. I know everyone is mentally and physically exhausted so I am going to keep it short this week.
As travel plans are quickly becoming an inconvenience and USC has announced its plan to continue online classes after spring break, uncertainty seems to be the driving theme of this week. Which is why it couldn’t be more important to take care of our mental and emotional wellbeing. The perfect way to do that? Just say no.
Since as long as I can remember, we have always been taught to greet every opportunity with a Times New Roman, bold, highlighted YES! In improv and acting classes, students are taught the infamous “Yes, and?” technique, modeling how we should approach each and every day. But hold on for a second. What if we are saying yes to too many things? What if this scripted “yes” is a verbal yes and physical no? What if we started saying “yes” to ourselves first, and went from there?
Believe it or not, saying “no” is actually an important and overlooked type of self care. It means you don’t spread yourself too thin or overcommit–– habits that lead to stress and a lack of prioritization. Science continues to prove that the power of “no” improves our productivity levels, sense of self, and potential for personal growth. Saying no is really saying yes, just to our mental health instead of another activity or commitment. So...how do you actually practice “no”? How do you set these boundaries and reverse your natural “yes” mode?
Different things work for different people. A huge shift that works for many and has worked for me is acknowledging the difference between “I can’t” and “I don’t.” Studies have shown that claiming you “can’t” eat chocolate triggers a different part of your mind than saying you “don’t.” Crazy, I know. But works wonders.
I want to remind you that you are not selfish if you say no––quite the opposite. If you decline social obligations when you are exhausted, a relationship when you are putting in more than your counterpart, or even say “no” to how someone is treating you, you are filling your cup so you can help others fill theirs. If you ask me, that’s pretty selfless rather than selfish.
I hope everyone has a wonderful and relaxing spring break. And even though we are going online for a bit, I will still be here. Reminder: I am always here for a virtual hug or FaceTime. Even if we have never met!
Wishing you all a week full of “No’s”, deep breaths, and laughter––lots of laughter.
-Ella
Now here’s some of my favorite things from this week:
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“Strangers who smile when you make eye contact with them are so important.” -Anonymous
As coronavirus chaos ensues, random acts of kindness could not be more important. No one likes uncertainty and this week there could not be more of it. With that in mind, going the extra mile to smile in passing or hold the door an extra second for someone could make someone’s week. The best part? You will never know how much of an impact you had on that person.
DIGEST OF THE WEEK
What could be better than a good book during this awkward time of uncertainty? Zoe Brown, another journalist for our health and wellness desk recently wrote a feature on The New York Times bestseller “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” by Lori Gottlieb. Her incredible account of her experience as a therapist to others as well as the reality of being a therapist herself is eye-opening and a one-of-a-kind page turner. Zoe even sat down with Gottlieb to get her 2 cents on the books’ message for college students. I will let Zoe tell you more and convince you to pick it up like she convinced me!
SOMETHING I AM WORKING ON THIS WEEK
I am not going to lie, this week has been a slap in the face. I have slept through multiple alarms, skipped out on the gym, and have been stuffing my face with carbs and chocolate. While I know that all of these bad habits stem from stress, they are actually making me feel worse. More tired, bloated and angry with the world. But I just keep doing them. Sometimes I feel as if I can only handle so much uncertainty, and this week it seems to be everywhere. But what I am trying to do, to the best of my ability, is find it in me to embrace this discomfort. To embrace the fact that nothing is a guarantee, and in that, to take advantage of the present moment. One way I am doing this is by making a conscious effort to seek gratitude everyday. I am trying to reflect on how lucky I am to be taught by teachers in a classroom, to interact with my peers, and even stroll our beautiful campus in the middle of my Wednesday. I invite you to do the same.
QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Every week, I welcome any questions or concerns you may have that could spark discussion/ bring awareness to our community. Just remember: No question is a dumb one.
Write to me here:
Email: ellakatz@usc.edu
Twitter: ellakatz20
Instagram: ellaakatz