Tonight, Friday the 13th (spooky!) marks the fall premiere musical geeks have been anxiously waiting for—the return of “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”! The CW musical comedy show starring and executive produced by Rachel Bloom promises to return with a vengeance, literally.
1. Hell Hath No Fury – Bloom has described season three as a “funny ‘Fatal Attraction.’” In a People.com exclusive preview of the first musical number “Where’s Rebecca Bunch,” Rebecca is seen with DVDs of “Fatal Attraction” and “Basic Instinct,” two films in which women take extreme forms of revenge on men. Bloom and her co-executive producer Aline Brosch McKenna revealed to E! that two of Rebecca’s revenge plots will involve sex tapes and poop.
Predictions: In an attempt to ruin his foray into priesthood, Rebecca will release a sex tape of Josh featuring either herself or given to her by Josh’s other ex, her now-friend Valencia (Gabrielle Ruiz). Valencia and/or Rebecca will at some point try to seduce Josh to prove that he won’t be able to give up the joys of the flesh. This may-or-may-not result in the aforementioned sex tape, if it doesn’t already exist. And as for the poop? Well, let’s go with the old standard of a flaming poo bag on Josh’s doorstep. My guess is that this lame revenge scheme will be suggested by Rebecca’s boss Daryl (Pete Gardner)
2. Losing My Religion – Josh Chan escaped marrying Rebecca by running to a seminary and requesting his free t-shirt (try college, Josh, they give out plenty there).
Prediction: There is NO WAY that Josh Chan makes it all the way to becoming a priest. The Catholic Church don’t suffer no fools and as Mother Superior says to Maria in the Sound of Music about the abbey: “these walls were not meant to shut out problems. You have to face them. You have to live the life you were born to live!” Josh Chan was not meant to live as a priest. This was just the only way he found to run away from marrying Rebecca. He’ll be on to the next thing in no time, which I’m guessing will be a pyramid scheme for protein powder and energy bars.
3. Sidekicks No More: Rebecca’s gal pals Valencia and/or Heather (Vella Lovell) need a strong sub-plot or new love interests, and I’m not talking about the other lame members of Josh’s Peter Pan bro squad. In an article on UPROXX, critic Alan Sepinwall mentions a great solo for Heather and her anxiety over finally graduating from college.
Prediction: Perhaps Heather or Valencia could hit it off with Nathaniel (Scott Michael Foster) co-owner of Rebecca’s law firm. Although he and Rebecca showed some sparks last season, I really hope she gets some alone time to figure things out before jumping into another relationship. As for Heather’s graduation, I’m guessing she will bounce around a bit continuing her gigs as a bartender and social media spokesperson for “Miss Douche” before finding her true calling.
4. Greg-Watch 2017: Fan-favorite and Rebecca’s ex Greg (Santino Fontana) left the show last season so his character could move to the East Coast and earn his MBA. Fans have been clamoring for his return pretty much since the moment he left. Brosch McKenna & Bloom aren’t deaf to these cries. In an interview with IndieWire, they refused to confirm or deny whether there were plans to bring Greg back, but Bloom did say “he was a massively important character. His presence is still incredibly important. We have not forgotten about that character, pretending that it never happened or that he never existed.”
Prediction: Greg will return! But just to spend the holidays with his family and give Rebecca some sage advice on a Very Special Holiday Episode. Perhaps a Christmas Carol parody where Greg is the Ghost of Christmas Past?
5. If You Just Believe: Rachel Bloom posted this cryptic Boomerang clip featuring Josh Groban
Prediction: I wanna predict that Grobes is joining the cast forever and forever and ever to sweep Rebecca off her feet and sing a million amazing songs, but sadly I know he’s way too busy to do that. Since Josh GrobAN rhymes with Josh ChAN, my actual prediction is that he pops in for this one-line rhyming gag during one of Rebecca’s fantasy musical sequence, much like the BJ Novak cameo in season 2.
So those are my predictions. I expect you all to celebrate me when they turn out to be totally accurate, but I will also accept the ridicule when I am proven completely wrong. Tweet me @elizgeli with your agreements and criticisms.
“Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” Season Three premieres tonight, Friday, October 13th at 8pm/7pm CT on The CW.
Written by Elizabeth Geli